we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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