This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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