dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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