just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
