I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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