i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
