Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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