How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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