we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i now understand why vodka
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
