Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
