Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
