lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
