I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
