dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
