I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Nicole vs. Life
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
