i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
