you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
try to milk me bitch
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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