They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
