She's JV to your varsity
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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