:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
