maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
