when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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