I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
