I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
