I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
