What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
