I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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