Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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