I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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