I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
