Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
