Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.