Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.