O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday