38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?