he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.