I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
