thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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