is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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