I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
