How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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