worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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