So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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