What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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