I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think people are normalizing furries
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