Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
