Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
