You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am midnight drunk by noon
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
