he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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