I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
