so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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