Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
that is very illegal...i love you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
