Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
