Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
