no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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