is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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