i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
