I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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