the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
