These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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