So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
