If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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