I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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