Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
