Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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