dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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