I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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