I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
