Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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