Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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