so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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