Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
