I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
