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what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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