I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
