her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
